This is a brief political blog (maybe apt for a few days before European and local polling). No scripture verses, just common sense!

Don’t you just love it when things come together?

A few days ago, I made up my own boldomatic ‘meme’ and posted it on Facebook (and got the usual flak, of course):

Yesterday, the governor of The Bank Of England stated boldly that we are heading for another major economic disaster unless we build more houses to stop this new house price bubble that is rising from the swamp. He didn’t say ‘rising from the swamp’ – that’s just my own poetic licence being waved in the air!

You see, he’s Canadian, so he hasn’t been brainwashed by the surrounding swamp of ‘free market’ ideologues we have in British economics.

This morning, I got an unusual lie-in, got up and had a late breakfast in front of the TV. We were watching ‘Homes under the hammer’ – a typical daytime production that follows people who have modest amounts of capital to auctions where they show how easy it is to buy houses, spend a few thousand (or a few hours if they’re tradespeople themselves) and sell it on for a tidy profit (maybe £10,000 for a few days’ labour or a few months’ waiting) or just rent it out for a nice income. I’ve always said that monkeys could do this, so I stand by my own meme (see above).

Today, however, we were treated to a gem! A couple bought a run-down terrace house that was virtually derelict: there was damp in the house, most likely caused (as the presenter pointed out) by a leaking roof, and a massive hole in the bathroom floor, just for starters. They bid £43,500 for it and reckoned, with the husband’s rewiring skills as an electrician, they could fix it up with their budget of around £4,000! The presenter’s eyes widened at this estimate, believe me, and then later he made it clear how ridiculous he thought that figure was. He also pointed out to them that they had broken a cardinal rule in not getting a ‘legal pack’ i.e. they had NOT involved the services of a solicitor.

They closed the house up over a cold winter, obtained insurance for it, returned after some heavy snow, and found that the snow had caused MORE damage to the house so put in a claim. The insurers informed them that since they had NOT got a surveyor’s report before they took out the insurance, it was void, and they walked away (and for once I was on the side of the insurance company). So there they were, with no money left and a worthless shell of bricks and leaking tiles. I think it was then that my wife said “slap it into them!” I nodded in agreement.

So what next for these morons? No, I’m not being harsh; let’s face it, they were an insult to monkeys!

Apparently their local council, with the housing shortage for tenants, decided to step in and give these imbeciles a grant! NOT a loan, like the ones given to all the intelligent students out there, a GRANT! OF £12,000!!!!! So the couple would finish the house and allow the council to place tenants in it for at least 5 years. The council would charge the tenants the going rate of £400/ month, take 10% for their admin costs (a standard fee any agent would levy) and give the owners £360 each and every month!

So dim-witted capitalists, investing their money unwisely in a scheme that could well have netted profit for anyone with a brain, who make a mess through their ignorance, greed and cost-cutting mistakes, get bailed out by government money! Hold on, why does that sound familiar?

Now these people are NOT benefit cheats, nor even legal benefit claimants; you know, all those people who ‘sponge taxpayers’ money’. Nor are they immigrants! Although the wonderful irony is that they are about to become immigrants: they’re heading off to a new life in Australia.

AND in 5 years’ time, they are out of their obligations of the contract and can sell or just rent to a higher paying tenant, as they wish. Nice long-term solution to our housing problems there!

AND if the tenants are on benefits or low-paid income, guess who’s going to pay most of that rent for them? To the owners sunning it up in Australia. Well, at least we’ve rid this country of a pair of dorks who were just a drain on the collective intelligence!

Just thought I’d highlight this, so that the likes of our politicians, including the new kids on the block who have their own scapegoats, will see just exactly where taxpayers’ money IS going. Glad to be of help.

This blog is in no way condemnatory towards intelligent capitalists, believe me.

(I’ll save my vitriol for the crafty capitalists for another time)

Grace be with you.